Best of Friends?
by Lullasong
Summary: Maud and Discord sitting in a tree n-o-t-h-i-n-g. That's what happens, nothing else to see here. But seriously, Pinkie Pie ends up calling her Sis down to Ponyville to have a little meeting with the lord of chaos. What could happen? (Not a Discord/Maud ship fic.)
1. Chapter 1: The Rock In My Eye

**Best of Friends?  
**  
By Lullasong

Discord floated through the air, following Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, I just had the greatest idea! Why don't I not meet her and we both just say that I did? Nopony will know."

"Discord..." Pinkie said, turning around. "it's obvious the two of you have tons of tension between you ever since 'that day'."

She flipped back around and continued down the path. "And everypony knows that the best way to melt away all that stressful, sobbing softly into your pillow at night tension is to do it face to face."

"Oh please," Discord narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't sleep on a pillow much less cry into one and there is no 'tension' between us. Honestly if it wasn't for Fluttershy I wouldn't have come all the way out here at all."

"Okeedokee, we're here." She springs onto an outstretched blanket underneath a tree. "Now all we gotta do is wait and then we can get started!"

"Ugh, I'd rather not do the waiting...or any of this." Discord floated slowly upward and cupped both hands around his eyeballs like looking through binoculars. "Hmm, now where could you be." His gaze shifted all around in his search. "This shouldn't be too difficult. Aha, there she is! Target is in sight..." In contrast to his words he closed both of his eyes. "...prepping for teleportation. Hold onto to your _hooves_ this could get messy!"

A quick snap and bright flash of light later and the deed had been done. Before the both of them now stood Pinkie Pie's older sister Maud Pie. The sudden change of scenery didn't seem to be bothering her as her expression remained unfazed in the slightest.

Pinkie bounded over to her sibling, wrapping her hooves around her noggin'. "Maud? Maud?! Are you okay?" She turned to the Draconequus, her expression one of discontent. "Discord, look what you've done. Poor Maud is traumatized half out of her mind! There, there Maud. Shh...shh...Pinkie's here, it'll be okay."

Finally the elder Pie sister spoke in her usual monotone manner. "Thank you Pinkie. I'm fine now." She held up her hoof revealing a small stone atop it. "There, there Boulder. Mama Maud is here...it will be okay." She said as she gave the rock several soft strokes with her hoof.

Discord's eyes narrowed. "Riiight, well it has been loads of fun. But sadly I must be going-"

"Bad Discord, stay!" Pinkie scolded.

"Yes, stay." Maud said. "It's the least you should do after putting Boulder through that traumatic experience."

Suddenly Boulder himself piped up in a shrill little voice. "Oh that's alright. I'm okaaay, I think Discord shouldn't waste anymore of his valuable time here."

"See!" Discord said. "He's doing just fine. Now if you'll ex-"

"Boulder doesn't sound like that." Maud deadpanned.

"Pardon?"

"I said, Boulder doesn't sound like that. It was obviously you doing that voice, Discord."

Discord gasped in shock. "Me? W-why that is absolutely _the_ most..." He had planned on denying it but after gazing for two seconds into Maud's no-nonsense blank face of a stare - he caved. "Oh fine, but talking rocks aside, don't you think the reason why Pinkie Pie asked you to come all the way out here is completely ridiculous?"

"No, I don't. But it seems like you're in denial Discord."

"I'm not in denial! There's no tension between the two of us. I said some things and you replied that I was 'the most basic of jokes'. End of story. Certainly nothing to get upset about right?"

"Then why are you so worked up?" With those simple words Maud had brought attention to the chaos lord's uplifted arms, raised high into the air as if poised to strike at his enemy. Not to mention the crazed look crawling around in his peepers.

"Now now..." Pinkie said almost sounding like Fluttershy. "What Maud said was just a joke. She didn't mean to hurt your feelings." As she went on her hooves found their way onto his body and gently massaged away all tension until he collapsed in a blissful state of relaxation.

"I apologize Discord," said Maud. "my actions as Pinkie said were all in good fun. I did not mean to, but am sorry to have, hurt your feelings."

"Awwww, isn't Maud just _the_ _cutest_ at apologizing?" Pinkie melted right into an embrace with her big Sis in a display of cuteness that could almost make Discord swoon - almost.

"Okay, fine, apology accepted. And I'm sorry for suddenly teleporting you. Now are we done with all of this?" Discord grinned, twiddling his thumbs and hoping beyond all hope that this would indeed close the case on the matter.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Pinkie produced two scrolls from within her Pink cotton-poof of a mane. "Buuuuut, to really seal the deal I've made a list of places and activities for you two to do together. You know, to really strengthen your bond with each other!"

She gave the parchments to Discord. "Now this first one is jam-packed with Pinkie certified super fun activities! And the second is all the stuff that wouldn't be so exciting. And definitely not Pinkie approved. So just stick with scroll numero uno and you'll have the best time ever guaranteed!"

He picked the Pink pony up by her tail pulling her up to talk face to face. "So just like that you expect me to spend the rest of my day just galavanting around Ponyville with your Sister?"

Pinkie playfully booped him on the nose. "Not just Ponyville silly! I mean you are Discord - Lord of Chaos. Just look at the lists. Okay have fun, bye!" Almost as through some magic force of her own she slipped right through his iron grasp and had dashed away at what seemed like near sonic rainboom speeds. Leaving just the two of them alone.

How had he gotten himself into this? Maud stared blankly at him, not saying a word. Just lightly inhaling and exhaling through her nostrils. He looked at her then at the lists clutched tightly in both his hands. Then back at her, then slowly back at the pieces of paper. Was he really going to do this?

But if he didn't he'd never hear the end of it. Not to mention Fluttershy would be mad.

"Yes." she spoke up breaking through the silence.

"Yes what?" he asked back.

"You can take my picture. It will certainly last longer than those cutesy little looks you've been shooting at me."

Discord's face turned redder than Big Mac's coat color. "W-w-what? A-are you-"

"Relax, I'm just kidding. Couldn't you, the 'king of jokes' tell?"

"Well uh, actually no." Discord cleared his throat. "So...I guess I'll just take a looksy at the lists and see what we've got." Changing the subject was just fine as anything was more comforting to him than going off that last bit of conversation they'd just had.

"So on the list of things not to do we have - 1: Don't visit Tartarus. 2: Don't go to the Mirror Pool. 3: Don't go to the Everfree forest and the _most important_ one of all 4: Don't repeatedly poke Princess Luna in the flank with a stick. Okaaaaaay, I'd say that last one goes without saying."

He unfurled the second list. "1: Go to Sugar Cube Corner. 2: Ma-"

Maud plugged his pie-hole with her hoof. "You know it'd be more of a surprise if we just did them one at a time before reading the next one."

Discord took a step back to remove her hoof from his mouth. "Quite right and well, it all is doable. I can take on all this without breaking a sweat."

Maud set a hoof to her jaw, almost deep in thought. "But we won't be doing any of those things on Pinkie's do-not-do list Discord. ...Mostly, I've always wanted to see the Mi-"

"Mirror Pool, gotcha!" Before she knew it Discord had finished her sentence and already teleported them to the locale.

"Actually..." Maud takes in her new surroundings, changing absolutely nothing in her facial expression. "It's not so much the Pool as it is what surrounds it."

Rocks! It had to be rocks! No, she couldn't possibly be interested in a magical splishy-splashy puddle of water that can perform the amazing task of duplicating an entire Pony! Nuh-uh she wanted to spend her time staring at those darn cave walls. To Discord that was even one step _below_ watching paint dry on the fun/chaos meter.

"No way, no how." he said. "If we are going to spend this day together you should know how much I loathe the mundane. So I'm dreadfully sorry, truly I am. But that includes rocks of all kinds and all sorts!"

Maud did not respond, only choosing to sit and stare blankly at him. Was she mad? Furious even? Given her static expression for all he knew she was about to unleash an unholy wrath upon him.

"Fine..." she stated calmly. "For Pinkie's sake I won't mention rocks with you. So what happened? Were you struck by a rock as a child?"

"W-what are you talking about!?"

"Well for you to have such disdain for rocks like that you must have been through quite the traumatic experience with one."

Discord gave a forced smile. "Yeah, a rock stole my sweet roll as a child. And it left me oh so...ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Of course nothing happened between me and a pile of rocks! Sheesh."

Maud shot a look to boulder before rolling her eyes. "Alright, calm down. I won't ask anymore if it upsets you that much. So I guess I'll just leave your _rocky_ history alone. ...That was a pun."

Discord feigned fainting, falling to the ground in a rather convincing manner. " _Uh her jokes are unbearable. And even they are rock based!"_ he thought. Recovering from the blow he rose up. "Besides why focus on rocks when there is so much more interesting things around here like oh I don't no. The Mirror Pool itself perhaps!"

He walked over to it looking down at his reflection. "And did you know that this particular pond is connected to..." He paused for dramatic effect leaning in until he was only mere inches away from Maud. "...Nightmare Moon!"

She shook her head slowly. "I had no idea. But did you know..." Maud walked over to the edge of the pond and began calmly tracing her hoof along it's border. Cocking her head to the side and leering at him with only one eye she speaks. "...That this, is _my_ Mirror Pool?"

"Your Mirror Pool?" Discord echoed.

"Yes, mine. I made it."

"Okay now I know you're crazy. Because before I wasn't entirely sure. But I know for a fact that this is _not_ your Mirror Pool."

"Yes it is."

Discord slightly tensed his form in frustration. "No it's not. It isn't even possible!"

Maud placed boulder on her head. "We have a non-believer here." she said, addressing the stone. "He says it isn't possible, how would he know?"

"Because I was there when it all happened!" The Spirit of Chaos through his arms to the air, waving them frantically about.

"Funny. I don't remember you being there." Maud glanced at her pet 'riding' upon her noggin. "Do you Boulder?"

"Don't ask the pebble! I may have been encased in stone at the time but I could still see things!" With himself nearly about to go into conniptions over the matter he struggled to contain his outbursts. " _Find a happy place. Find a happy place. Tea with Fluttershy. Hugs, cuddles, naps in the meadow."_ The calming thoughts worked well enough. He didn't feel so much like tearing a rift betwixt dimensions and hurdling her butt through it anymore.

Able to talk peaceably again he tried explaining. "Look, this pool was here before even Nightmare Moon. She corrupted it with dark magic and used it to make her own army of followers. That was over a thousand moons ago and you my dear are not that old. But kudos' to you if you are, cause you look greeaat!"

"Interesting." The Pie sister said. "I had no idea. Kinda like you had no idea I was just messing with you. I apologize again."

A deathly silence filled the air. He had no idea what her thoughts were but he himself found his mind wandering back to that whole tossing her rock-loving rear end straight to the other side of some portal idea of his. Only now the destination he had in mind changed to something much, much worse. The anger within was building more and more. But then, he realized something. They shared a common thread.

Despite her monotone voice and many expressionless expressions she shared with the world he now saw something. She obviously found some humor messing with him. And that was certainly a fact that he could appreciate.

"Hey, Maud?"

"Yes, Discord?"

"I...I'm sorry." He looked her way. Her appearance was unchanged but somehow he thought he could tell she was surprised at his remorse. "I overreacted, so I apologize. I g-guess I should be able to take a joke better than that. ...Are you mad?" He still couldn't tell.

"No, I'm not mad. I am tougher than you think. I guess I'm like a rock, that you thought you could easily break. But then, it turns out, you couldn't."

"Hahahahaha!" He couldn't keep himself laughing and doubling over because of it.

Then he paused in pure shock as _she_ actually joined in. "Ha-ha-ha-ha."

Even her laugh was a slow monotone one with her expression giving only the smallest hint of a smile.

That right there only made him laugh all the harder until he was on the ground, limbs flailing about with amusement.

After about ten seconds went by of them both laughing he strained to speak through it all. "O-kay, s-s-stop. I can't take i-it anymore!" He was starting to feel the pains of one who has laughed too hard.

She quieted down giving him leeway to do the same. "I thought you'd find that funny."

Wiping away the tears from his face he stood beside her and placed a paw on her back. "Ha-ha, you know Maud, I haven't laughed like that in years! This day out could actually end up being not so bad."

She nodded. "Sugar Cube Corner was first on her list."

"Right, right, of course." he said. "But you know. I wonder what would happen if we both went into the Mirror Pool."

She need only give a look.

He removed his paw from her. "Haha, don't worry I'm just kidding...sorta."

* * *

 **And I'd like to thank petirep for graciously providing the cover art! :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Sugar Cubes and Rock Pie

**Chapter 2: Sugar Cubes and Rock Pie**

* * *

Discord barged in through the door to Sugarcube Corner carrying Maud under one arm like a piece of luggage. If luggage had four legs, talked and had an endless amount of enthusiasm for all things rock-based that is.

"Table for two, please!" he said, brandishing a smile. Maud lightly poked and proded at his ribcage. "Oh, my mistake. Table for three!" he corrected, realizing he had forgotten Boulder.

Pinkie Pie had been standing behind them the entire time, ready to greet. "Why if it isn't Discord and my big sister Maud! What a complete and total surprise to see you two here!" she gave a slight wink. "What brings you two budding buddies to Sugar Cube Corner on a fine morning such as this?"

"Oh I think you'd know, since we are following your instructions." said Discord, poofing up a small rectangular table with just the right amount of seating he had requested. He took his seat, conjuring up a menu. "But play innocent if you must, Pink One." Maud took her place right beside Discord, he had placed both chairs on the same side of the table leaving the other completely bare.

That meant it was also totally free for Pinkie to zip about back and forth from the kitchen bringing an assortment of delectable delights to their table in mere seconds. "Here's some coco-cupcakes, chimi-cherries, cherry-chungas, coffee-cookies, Cajun-chili-cake..." With each dish she would move and rattle off the next confection with ever-increasing speed until her movement became a scrambled-eggy blur and her words incoherent. He could have deciphered her babble if he were interested enough to do so. He was not though.

When all was said and done, the front counter of the bakery was no longer in plain sight. It now lay behind a formidable looking wall of sweet treats. Atop it all was one massive bowling ball sized cherry. Pinkie gave a wink, softly nudging Discord. "Do I know you and my big sis or what?" She beamed happily, pointing to the giant cherry.

Discord folded his arms. "You know Pinkie, one of these days you and I are going to have an interesting little chat."

"Bout' what?" she asked.

He took a bite out of the Cajun-chili-cake. "Well about your apparent magical abilities of course, what else? But first things first, do you _really_ expect Maud to eat any of this?" His arms stretched out and twisted all about the table to illustrate his point.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie pondered, genuinely puzzled.

"Really?" said Discord. "I've practically only just met this pony sista' of your's but even I know that she doesn't like ca-".

Then it happened. And it was glorious. Maud leapt into action and began devouring each and every moursel of food with a ferocity Discord had not seen in all his years. If a speck of frosting even thought of flying out and toward the ground it was quickly seen and sucked up into the bottomless pit of her stomach. Even her sibling's earlier display of amazing quickness couldn't compare to this. Undeterred she powered through it all.

Then it was done. And Maud was full.

"Burp." Maud expelled gas through her mouth by literally saying the word behind her action. "Thank you Pinkie, it was delicious."

Discord squinted. "There's something going on here and with more than just one Pie family member, and believe you me I _shall_ get to the bottom of it all...eventually." Unfurling Pinkie's list from earlier he checked off the first item. "Alright that takes care of 'Go to Sugar Cube Corner'. Now the next item on our agenda is to... 'Make drawings of each other'?"

Pinkie piped up. "Yessiree, nothing cements a relationship quite like a good ol' drawing!"

Not even arguing, Discord brought out a plethora of artsy equipment and slapped it all on the table while simultaneously transporting everypony to a nice field just outside Fluttershy's cottage. "All right let's get this over with." Paintbrush in hand he began to work the canvas, sneaking peeks every so often at his subject. Maud, stoic as ever, followed by grasping a bit of charcoal with her hoof. Unlike the Draconequus she never once looked his way whilst making her masterpiece.

Barely a minute had passed when she spoke up. "Finished."

"Oh, come on..." Discord protested. "You can't be done yet, I'm not finished. And here I was handicapping myself and doing it without magic-".

"Discord? Pinkie interjected. "Are you worried that your painting won't look as good as Maud's drawing?"

"Oh, I'm not worried. Because my dear Pinkamena, in the world of art there are no such things as 'good' or 'bad' art." He held up the canvas toward them. "But judge it if you must. Just remember it has unfinished qualities..."

The canvas was nearly completely bare, white all over save for a small section in the middle which showed Maud. He had drawn her completely in black and white with her body made up of an amalgamation of several different types of rock. The only color to be had was for the iris in each of her eyes. They were drawn with a myriad of colors from both the known and unknown universes.

"This represents," he began. "both your love of rocks as well as your...um, jaded personality. But the secret is in the eyes, they tell of the inner 'beauty'." He waited patiently for her critique with a smug look on his face, proud as can be of his creation.

Maud took a couple of steps forward. "And here I thought you only liked me as a friend. Thank you Discord, I'll cherish it always."

"Now what a second! The feelings seen here in this paint-". he paused. "You're just messing with me again aren't you?"

She grasped her own paper in her mouth and held it out. "Here, this is mine."

Discord snatched up the parchment with haste. "Are. You. Kidding...me?" No wonder she had finished so quickly. What he saw was merely a slightly curved line not unlike an upside down walking cane adorned with just two squiggly ovals at the top for eyes. He looked back up upon hearing the crinkle of yet another piece of paper.

"And here's my drawing of Boulder..." Maud held it out for him to take but he did no such thing. Instead he stood, stuck in a stupor, gazing at the artwork. This one depicted a pony entirely made of stone with lean and muscular Bruce Lee body. Black armor semi-covered his form but even what it did cover was molded to him just right to show off every facet of his muscular physique.

"Well," Discord began. "I guess this experience has been if nothing else, a bit of an eye opener if you will."

"Finiiiiished!" Pinkie yelled, catching their attention. "Introducing King Grover! Sculpted in all his glory out of one-hundred percent pure sugar cubes and chocolate frosting!"

"Who? Eh, doesn't matter, not important." said Discord.

"I'm getting diabetes just looking at it..." added Maud.

Pinkie collapsed on the ground, covered in a gooey mess. "Yep, he's such a _sweetie!_ Hahaha."

Discord approached the enormous statue. "Not bad I guess, pretty detailed for one made of frosting."

"...And sugar cuuuubes." Pinkie corrected.

"Yes, yes, and sugar cubes. How could I forget? But you know what would make him even more lifelike?" The chaos lord touched a glowing talon to the figure's leg instantly causing it to spring to life and take flight.

Pinkie watched in awe as her creation rose higher and higher until it began making it's way toward Ponyville. "Wait! King Grover! Where are you going?!" Without so much as a good-bye Pinkie dashed off after him, leaving them behind.

"Discord..." Maud said.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't have done that."

"No, I'm not gonna scold you. Could you do that to Boulder? It would make him happy, to have his dream body." Maud held her little friend in one hoof and her masterpiece in the other.

"Hmm..." He thought for a moment. "Sure why not?!" He waved a paw over her image. "Just a simple copy and..." A ghostly mirror image lifted off the paper. "...paste." Positioning it over Boulder he let go and watched as the image and stone became one. To the average pony Maud would appear to be simply staring, expressionless. But to Discord or anypony who knew her they would be the ones to see the shimmer and sense of endless wonder in her eyes. It was a dream of her's come true. But then the unthinkable happened. The candied statue of King Grover swooped in from nowhere and clasped onto Boulder lifting him high into the air.

"Pleeeeaaase..." Pinkie came into sight taking several deep breaths. Unusually winded from such a short chase. "...stop...flying...a-away."

Maud slowly lifted her gaze up at the pair. "No, bad Boulder...bad." Amazingly her monotone scolding did nothing to deter the rock.

Grover unleashed a chocolate curdling screech to the heavens as he flew off carrying his cargo, toward Canterlot.

"Um..." Discord was wide-eyed. "D-does anypony else think this might be a problem? I'm already not in the Princesses good graces as it is..." He gave a light laugh.

Pinkie took her list out and checked off the second friendship task. "Well then I guess it's a good thing that next on the list is a trip to Canterlot's famous donut shop huh?!"

"If I didn't know any better..." said Discord, leaning in over the pair. "I'd say you two planned this. But c'est la vie, I suppose."

* * *

 **My sincerest thanks** **to you for reading! Please let me know what you think, I'd appreciate it...Till next time! :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Canterlot Conundrum

**Chapter 3: Canterlot Conundrum**

Celestia rested her royal bottom on her throne, eyelids feeling almost as if somepony were trying to force them shut. It wasn't surprising given the day she had just endured. It had been filled with many wonders. Such as meetings, trying endlessly to wade through Bulk Bicep's weight in paperwork and listening to the various grievances of the populace not to mention the four different social gatherings she had to somehow squeeze into her schedule and attend.

And now she had come to the last thing on her to do list. After lowering the sun and raising the moon all on her own she now just had to hope and pray the kingdom could hold together peaceably for just one more hour. Then everything was Luna's problem. Her younger sister had had a 'trying' night the day before and had politely asked if her 'loving and benevolent sister' could maybe just maybe, hold down the fort a little while longer than usual so she could sleep in.

One more hour. How hard could it be?

"Sister!" Luna's cries could be heard coming down the hall. "I am in need of your assistance post-haste!"

Celestia's head jolted up, her mind springing back from the edge of sweet, beautiful rest. Despite Luna's urgent tone she lazily and with great effort managed to rise up and take a wobbly flight down to meet with her. "Luna, w-what..." She paused, letting out a small yawn. "...What's the matter now?"

Luna took on a defensive stance, walking a circle with her back turned to Celestia as if preparing to repel an attack should it come from any direction. "I don't know for sure what is happening. Invasion? Rebellion? A surprise party perhaps?"

"Lulu, have you gone coocoo?" Cele asked, not sure if her own lack of rest was beginning to make her hallucinate or not.

"Nonsense! I assure you I am in my right mind." Luna said, taking note of her elder sister's dilapidated composure. "Though I am not sure I can say the same for you..." She cleared her throat. "Surprising you haven't noticed, but our castle home has become deserted. No guards, staff or anypony _anywhere_ for that matter."

If something was indeed going on she'd need to be fully alert. "Are you sure?" Celestia rubbed her eyes, trying to shake away and remnant sleepiness.

"I am sure Sister, take a look and see for yourself if you want."

Straightening her crown and turning on her magical hair flow, Celestia the pretty Princess of Equeastria was once more ready for action. "Come, we can look together and get to the bottom of all this."

Just as they began to investigate, Luna stopped. "Wait, d-do you hear it?"

Behind the closed-door entrance to the throne room they heard a shrill war cry.

"WHAATAAAWW! HIYA-OOOOOWAAAAH! ACHA! HUUUC-AWHAAA!" And with a mighty karate kick the door burst open.

...

Disord adjusted the dials on his night vision goggles. "This is Discord contacting Rock Mama and Cotton Candy. Target is not in sight. I repeat, target is _not_ in sight."

"Rock Mama?... Shouldn't I be the one called Cotton Candy?" Pinkie asked.

Discord took off the goggles and tossed them to her. "You are a special kind of pony aren't you? Here, take the night vision googles and see if you can find anything."

She quickly slapped them onto her face and took a gander. "Not seeeeing any chocolate griffons named Grover or Boulder." She chuckled.

"We've been in Canterlot for like, thirty seconds and haven't found squat yet." Discord reached into a nearby bush and pulled out a scroll which read 'squat' on it. He quickly tossed it aside. "I mean c'mon how hard can it be to find those lil' monsters!"

"Boulder is not a monster. He's just misunderstood." Maud said with a fiery passion deceivingly camouflouged behind her bland words.

Pikie strapped on a makeshift helmet and dipped her hooves into some mud before smearing it all over her face in a chaotic pattern as 'war paint'. "Target is now in sight, Kooky Grandpa. Repeat, the target is now in sight!"

"Wait...who you calling 'Kooky Grandpa?'' asked Discord, a slight scowl on his face.

Without an answer Pinkie charged head first toward her creation. The choco griffon had landed not more than twelve feet away, toppling over some garbage cans which it then proceeded to rummage through for a quick meal. Though It didn't take long for it to notice the screaming cotton-candy colored pony blazing toward him. Speedily it sucked down the remainder of the refuse he had been guzzling, before attempting a quick flight escape. His feeble chocolaty wings were unable to react fast enough.

Pinkie pounced atop him ensnaring herself in a swirl of angry chocolate griffon as it tried desperately to get away from her iron grip. "Hurry Discord!"

Discord did as he was intructed and zapped the beast turning it back to the sweet statue it had been before this whole mess had even began.

Maud walked over to make sure it was harmless and while tapping at it's beak accidentally broke nearly a third of it off. "Well that's one down and Boulder to go."

Pinkie popped one of the shattered pieces into her mouth. "Mmmm...tasty. Can't let all this go to waste." She began devouring her art project, eating whole heaps of sugar and chocolate as easily as breathing air. Then she broke through to the liquid mound of pure garbage it had eaten moments ago. "Ooooo, a gooey center."

Even Discord had to purse his lips and hold paw to mouth to prevent himself from blowing chunks. He felt Maud place her hoof on him. "...Yes, she is a ' _special_ ' kind of Pony."

As soon as Pinkie was finished she stood back up, taking her helmet off in favor of a lengthy red headband which she promptly tied on. "Now let's go get Boulder back!"

"He's this way..." Maud said, walking off toward the castle.

Discord shook his head in confusion. "Color me intrigued. But how do you know he's over there and not, oh I don't know, over there somewhere?" he pointed in the direction going toward Donut Joe's shop.

"Trust me, I know Boulder."

Again she walked off. This time nobody bothered to object.

...

"What kind of creature is this Cele?" Luna asked as she raised a barrier to defend them both against the next onslaught of attacks from the rock armored pony.

"I'm not sure, I've never seen or even heard of one like this before."

For the past several minutes the two sister had to defend against a flurry of flying kicks and punches. It's rock-hard body and incredible strength made for a durable and worthy opponent.

A bead of sweat trickled down Luna's face. "Whatever it is this has gone on long enough and we must subdue it now! Are you ready?"

Sun-Butt nodded. "Drop the barrier on three. One...Two...Thr-"

Maud suddenly entered the room, it wasn't hard seeing as there was no longer any kind of door there. "Boulder, stop terrorizing the Alicorn overlords. You know better..."

The stone destroyer glanced her direction, his small original body still visible jutting out of his left eye.

Pinkamena 'cotton candy' Diane Pie stepped in between the two groups. Discord could feel the seriousness emanating from her. "Rocks, don't feel pain. I know what I must do...the only way I know how! I willfinish this. By eating Boulder!"

Discord burst into an uproarious laughter. "Hahahaaha, _you_ are going to _eat_ Boulder? ...Wait, are you serious?"

Ms. Pinkie tightened her headband. "Back home on the rock farm, I'd eat three square meals a day of rocks, sometimes four. So what do you think Discord?"

It was about this time he noticed her usual fluffy pink mane and tail begin to deflate and straighten out. Pinkamena was in full swing.

Maud took some steps back pulling Discord back along with her as well. "Pinkie sometimes gets like this when Equestria is in danger...mostly if the threat is rock-based. She will be counting on you to clean up any of the damages with magic though..."

"D-damages?" he echoed. He raised an eyebrow as well as a paw in preparation to 'snap' away the nuisance. Maud stopped him, shaking her head.

"Hey Boulder!" Pinkamena addressed her adversary. "Prepare to be reduced to rubble!"

Boulder cracked his neck, signaling his acceptance of the challenge. In a lightning blitz he flashed over to Pinkie, hovering mid-air and poised to strike.

She dodged, following through with a limb-severing headbutt to creatures front left leg. As it reeled back in shock her body slid to it's rear delivering a devastating buck to both the rear limbs with a swift leg sweep finishing the dismemberment. With only one leg remaining Boulder failed to keep from collapsing. Despite everything he lay silent, contemplating his next move. She moved in ready to finish it when he pulled something that surprised all.

He stopped her rock smashing advancement by clasping onto her hooves with his own two hands. The newly sprouted limbs each sported three fingers in addition to thumbs.

He had generated the appendages quickly, each leg coming back as well, bigger and stronger. His neck suddenly elongated and bulked up forming a torso atop his horse body. His new arms ascended to his sides, their solid grip carrying her right along with them. With the muscular form now complete there was one word on everypony's mind. ...Tirek. At nearly eight feet tall he resembled the monster quite a bit, every piece of him had changed save his face.

"This is ridiculous!" Discord paced about frantically. "Am I the only one seeing this! ...And how come nopony has asked for _MY_ help in all this, really...".

Wasting no time Boulder changed his grip, clasping her entire body in one hand. He spun around and smashed her against a pillar nearly breaking it all the way through.

At this point Celestia and Luna had enough and were done being mere spectators. Each took a stance, preparing to unleash magical hell on the abomination that Maud's once peaceful pet had become.

"N-no." Pinkamena struggled to speak, her face partial buried in the remnants of the once proud pillar. "I'm fine, really. He is _m-mine_."

The sisters were off put by her statment but were undeterred in their decision to engage.

Until Maud spoke her mind. "Like my sister said, she can handle it."

Unlike Cele, Luna knew she could trust Maud. The seemingly simple earth pony had proven herself many times to her in the past. "Sister, let us hold off for now. And see what Pinkamena does."

A little hesistant at first and against her better judgement Celestia nodded in agreement.

Pinkie once more addressed the rock-hemoth. "Thank you Boulder, you've been all too patient. Now let us continue..."

Chomping down on his hand she devoured enough to squeeze free and flow right into a glorious uppercut. It took only a second to grind the rubble between her teeth into dust. Fine sand-like particles spewed forth from her mouth and into his eyes, blinding him. Clearing the debris took too long, when he was able to see once again she was gone.

She tapped on his shoulder. "Yoohoo over here!" Craning his head he found her standing on his back poised to fire her party cannon. Which he now guessed was probably not filled with soft, cupcake-scented confetti.

* _KAA-POW!*_

The blast up and blew his noggin clean off. "The party's over..." she quickly flipped down and over to his head. A hoof-chisel here and a few bite marks there Boulder's body was finally freed from his dream body's eye socket.

Pinkamena calmly trotted over to her Maud. As she placed the stone safely back into her sister's hooves the happy party-pony life sprang back into her mane, tail, and most importantly, her personality. "Here ya go Maud!" she said cheerfully.

Pinkie was back.

Celestia approached the Draconequus, her semi-wrathful eyes not breaking contact. "Care to explain all of this, Discord?"

"M-Me?!" he popped into full defense. "After all that has happened you blame it all on me?"

The staring continued with Luna and even Maud joining in.

"All right fine, it was me! Those things were just supposed to come to life and wreck a teensy, tiny bit of havoc. More fun than anything really. But honestly...where did all of _this_ come from?!" He motioned toward Boulder's slowly dissolving previous form. But she seemed to only get angrier at that remark so he quickly snapped his paw, fixing the damage, disposing of the body and adding in a cherub's smile.

"Honestly Discord...this was too much." Celestia let out a sigh. "Do I need to start considering you a-"

"Princess Celestia." interrupted Maud. "It wasn't all his fault. I share in the blame as well."

"Really?" Cele's mood at once softened. "This is surprising."

Pinkie slid in, bowing to her. All the while tears shot forth from her eyes like water out of a busted hydrant. "Pleeeeeese Princess, d-don't punish Maud, punish me insteeeeaad!"

Luna stepped forward. "And what did you do Pinkie?"

"I duunnooo!" Pinkie continued her sobbing. "But she's my Sister! She's a _g-good_ pony and I don't wanna see anything _bad_ happen to her!"

"There, there, Pinkie." Luna comforted her with a few soft pats to the head. "I think Cele and I can find it in our hearts to forgive all this. Right?" She turned to her elder sibling.

Celestia finished wiping away newly formed tears using a bit of tissue. "O-of course we can! Oh Luna, I love you too!" She ran in for a hug with her sister and the Pink one. By now all three, Luna, Pinkie, and Celestia were in tears hugging it out. Pinkie abnormally stretched her hoof out several feet and hooked Maud into the hug pile.

"Oh well this is nice..." said Discord. "Lot's of love for Moi as usual huh? Honestly does anypony (other than Fluttershy) care about me?"

"Yes." came the answer from Maud, bringing back to his mind her earlier defense of him.

He stood silent for a second, a bit speechless. "W-well uh, I guess I stand corrected."

After hug time was over and the crying mostly stopped, Celestia was first to speak. "I suppose you three can spend the night here in the castle if you'd like?"

"Sure!" Pinkie was all to quick to answer.

"Alright fine, just no more crying." Discord waltz over and leaned on Maud. Despite being pretty much on top of her he was as light as a feather. "Well I suppose I'll be retiring now. Will you be coming, my little Rocky-roo?" The last part to everypony's great shock was addressed to Maud of all ponies.

Her reply was of similar taste. "In a minute, my snookums. You go on ahead."

And just like that he poofed away to the castle suite like there wasn't anything usual about what just happened.

The collective jaws of the Royals and Pinkie were dropped to the ground. Several thoughts ran through each of their minds. When? How? I really am going crazy aren't I? That last thought was Celestia's, she was certain this staying awake past her bed time had somehow done irreparable damage to her mind.

"What?" Maud deadpanned. "We were just messing with you."

...

 _~Half an hour later_

"Pinkie, what happened to getting some shut eye?" Discord yawned, opening his jaw wide enough in the process to devour a full dozen donuts plus an entire cup of hot coco mug and all.

"Sleep? We can't sleep, not when Donut Joe's is twenty-five percent off during the night!" Pinkie choked down her fiftieth maple bar. "After today I guess you could say he became a _bolder_ Boulder! Riiiight Maud?"

Maud sat on a stool, fast asleep holding a cup of hot chocolate in her hoof. A glazed twist sat unfinished on the counter near where her head was resting.

"See, Maud's into it!" Pinkie picked up the twist. "You gonna finish this?" She didn't wait for an answer, down the hatch it went.

Discord wobbled on his little stool beside Maud, feeling quite uneasy from the intoxicating mix of sugar and lack of sleep. Vision blurring he poked her mane softly with a spoon. "Are you d-dead?" After completing that sentence he fell off the stool collapsing to the ground as a sound asleep little spaghetti noodle of choas.

"Who's up for donut number fifty-two?!" Pinkie shouted with glee.

...

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! :D I hope you enjoyed it.**


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